Tao (the way)

So I've started a spiritual journey. It's been tough. I am a little surprised that I'm doing it and it's not really the sort of thing I would normally have sought out.

The truth is I was forced into it. You see my wife found God. She's not being preachy or trying to steal the kids from me or anything horrible. She's been great about it. The problem is me. You see I have a problem with Christianity. I hate it, I loathe it, I feel that most of the terrible things that have happened in this world have been a result of it. It's a feeling that has grown in me gradually over the past 15-20 years. Or at least I did for about the last ten years until about six months or a year ago when I started to calm down.

So when I finally found out about the wife I had a crisis. I couldn't believe she had brought this evil into my house. I actually said that out loud in front of her can you believe it? After a while of reflecting on this. A while being months and months. Plus being torn by the fact that I love her dearly and that I respect her greatly I started to realize something very important. In my hatred of what Christians had done in the name of God I had learn to hate Christians. I had become the very thing I hated them for. A vessel of ignorance, hatred and intolerance. This had to change. A little history Some 20 years or so ago I was an avid church goer. During that period I learned of this ignorance and hatred and I knew that God could not be like this. So I found my own path. Over the next 5 years or so I explored myself and the universe deeply through contemplative meditation and developed some very strong feelings about how the world worked. They included ideas like reincarnation and the love and interconectedness of all things.

about 15+ years ago I discovered Buddhism. I was and still am constantly amazed at how much it matched my own explorations and theories and so I began following it. I'd already started down the path and here was a guide from those who had gone down the same path before me.

Unfortunately I didn't stick with it. The Buddha sort of moved from my heart to my back pocket. Buddhism was always something I would get back to. I've got completely unread Buddhist texts that I've had for 5 years now. Some day. I would get back into Buddhism, learn a bit more and start meditating again.

Well this was the day. See Buddhism speaks to me very closely. And one of the neat things about it specific to this situation is that Acceptance of other peoples religion is a requirement. No Buddhist who truly understands the Darhma will ever tell you that your religion is wrong, less accurate. So I'm diving in full bore. Grabbed a bunch more texts and I'm reading them. Some from the buddhist restaurant we go to for the vegitarian chinese food. Some online, some I've just had for a long time and don't know why. Some that folks have brought to me from taiwan or something. Others that I've picked up as giveaways and a chinese Buddhist restaurant.

Tao in Chinese means way or path. Both of these words are used to describe the Buddha's teachings. Both by him and by others. My initial exposure to Buddhism was essentially zen. But in the kung fu theathre sort of way. I got it from a martial arts instructor and a very good frient. I learned a lot spiritually from the man. I'm sure there will be more on him later.