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Saturday, September 26, 2009

Progress towards shikan taza

So I believe I've made great progress in my meditation recently. Had something great at the service on Saturday.

I've had all these thoughts in my head and I fight to not hold on to them. but I always hold on to them and think about them. and I know I shouldn't be fighting so hard to not hold on to them.  I also have a problem with songs rolling through my head.

So Saturday what I did was just touch every thing that came into my head. Mostly I touched things I noticed. I focused on just touching anything I noticed. I said one word to describe it and lte it go. If the bell outside rang I said bell. If someone shifted their foot I said foot. If they shrugged I said shrug, if I was slouching I said straighten as I straightened my spine, etc.

I know that naming things in this way promotes segregation which is the opposite of zen but it helped me let things to. It also helped me not have a song in my head. I meditated again that night and it didn't work out very well but I did it in my cluttered busy living room not the zendo and I only did 10 mins because I'd done an hour already that day.

I didn't get a chance to discuss it with my teachers so I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. but when I try and focus on my breathing I can't focus only on my breathing I have all these other things I fight with. Doing this I actually got a bunch of breathing focus in.

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